Let's head into spring looking at spiritual maturity...
Paul and James speak about our spiritual maturity many times and how we are to allow God to do His work in our hearts. We know from Galatians that as a result there will be fruit in our lives. Things like joy, peace, self-control, and patience. These are evidence that work is happening and we'll see them in ourselves and others.
In fact, Jesus says that is how we are to judge health or unhealth, by the fruit produced. Sometimes we do not realize the impact of our words and actions. In Luke 23:34 Jesus says of the ones participating in his crucifixion, "Father, forgive them, they do not know what they doing."
This is an attitude we need to apply to those who have hurt us. They do not know the depth of hurt their actions cause or likely they would never do it. Secondly, we need to recognize this about ourselves. If we realized the depth of hurt our words and actions can cause to others, we would not say that next snide remark, we would not "vent" to a friend easily.