Here's the deal. I had a lot of plans for the New Year. I'm a coach for Revelation Wellness' RW + membership and leading an amazing group through a sugar fast for the next few weeks (it just started today so not too late to join at revelationwellness.org). I intentionally worked through nervous system regulation at the end of December so my rhythms of work were calm and high quality. I arranged my schedule to prioritize the movement that feels good to my body. I had the great important conversations about the BIG changes with my sweet man, and I scheduled time with other couples we love (my New Years resolution). I couldn't wait for this week to really get them going! And BAM! I got sick. Like, really sick. It's been 6 days now and it looks like it'll be a minute until I'm better.
Don't you hate that? When life comes at you without even considering all you've put into your planning? Any other control freaks out there? Or is it just me? But, here is the deal. A couple of years ago this would have thrown me for a huge loop. And it has, but not that bad. Here is where I'm proud of myself...I'm learning to pivot (insert Ross Geller screaming PIVOT as they move a couch around a corner). I'm learning to let go of what I can't control, maybe it's my age? Maybe it's my somatic practices to promote calm and clarity, maybe it's connecting deeper in my faith through yoga? I'm not sure. But, I'm liberated from it having to look or go my way. And that feels so good! Because you know what? It rarely does. Yet I still plan and control as if it will. That is literally the definition of insanity!
So, I'm getting of the insanity roller coaster this year (as much as I'm able). I'm letting go of what I can't control, at great risk. Because when you let go of what you can't control, you let go of people sometimes. You let go of opportunities (that you thought you could control). You let go. You let go. You let go. And while it may come at loss, and that is hard and painful, in the end it feels liberating. It makes me think of Paul and how in his letters he repeatedly asks us to only identify with our resurrected self, not our "old" self. In that, there is always liberation.
If this is where you are, like me, it is tough! I feel you, I'm with you, I'm thinking of and praying for you, and I'm happy for you!!! Keep up the good work, it's worth it!